I’m Not Fat, I’m Husky

Growing up I was the type of boy a mother would lovingly refer to as husky.  Husky, solid and stocky are all polite ways adults say “you’re fat.” Kids aren’t quite as tactful and “Fat Matt” was a common nickname. I tried to live by the adage, Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me,but the truth is the names did hurt. My scars weren’t visible on the outside, but on the inside I was self-conscious and very insecure. It was one of the reasons I was so quick to volunteer for anything anybody asked. It was my way of being liked.

            A big part of lacking self-confidence is the willingness to accept what comes your way rather than working hard to make your circumstances better. This was the approach I took when it came to school. I was a good student, but I only did the work that was required of me and never tried to excel. It was the same with sports. I was blessed with natural ability but never dared to live up to my potential. For a long time, work was no different. I have always been a good worker but I never pushed myself to rise above my position. I was happy staying in a comfortable job and would accept the good with the bad. I went through life never realizing my potential as a person (except in marriage, the one area of my life where I have over-achieved).

            My eagerness to volunteer eventually led me to getting involved in my community. It started with coaching in our local youth football organization and then expanded to other non-profits. I started to see how much need there was in my community and how I could make a difference by just donating my time. This really gave me a sense of self-worth and a great deal of internal happiness. A few years ago, I joined the board of directors of a great organization and it has made a huge difference in my life. The board and staff members come from a wide range of backgrounds but we are united in our efforts to make our community a better place to live for everybody. The people I work with are among the best I know and they have given me so much. They value my input and that has made a big difference in how I view myself. I not only strive to help others but I understand the importance of helping myself as well.  

            I have been able to use my newly discovered inner-strength to help me through  recent challenges. I work in a very competitive industry and the pressure to cut costs is great. This caused many of my good friends to lose their jobs. I know that technology and competition are going to continue to squeeze my chosen profession and that I could eventually become a casualty myself. The person I was would have waited for my time and accepted my fate. Now, I refuse to sit by and not do everything I can to ensure a better outcome. I don’t waste energy worrying about what I can’t control. Instead I put that energy into making myself a better person. It is why I have gone back to school. After dropping out of college about thirty years ago, I enrolled in Southern New Hampshire University and it has been one of the best decisions of my life. The knowledge I have gained from the classes is great, but the biggest benefit has been the confidence I now have. More than anything, school has shown me the talent I have within myself. I am capable of achieving more than I ever believed I could. If I need to accomplish something, I know I just need to commit to it and put in the effort. That is why I have finally gotten serious about my health. This past year, being overweight finally caught up to me. The doctor told me that I need to make some serious changes or I have a heart attack; I needed to make a decision. I decided that I have a lot to live for and I was going to do what I needed to do to be healthy. I committed to a practical diet and I got serious about my workouts. In four months I was able to lose over thirty-five pounds and I am now healthier than I have ever been. It is my new sense of self-worth and the support of my family that make my healthier lifestyle and college possible. At this stage in my life, the idea of posing for this project is both exciting and terrifying. I view this opportunity as symbolic of breaking the shackles of insecurity and spreading my wings to soar new heights. — Matthew Riker